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Dearly beloved. We gather here today to mourn the demise of the sport utility vehicle, or SUV as its friends liked to call it.The gas guzzler lived a full life, driving in the fast lane from the 1990s to the mid 2000s. Alas, it fell ill a few years ago and never recovered. And really, we can t say the death came as a surprise. For years, folks complained about the environmental impact of low mileage vehicles. Over time, those voices grew louder, but still the SUV fought on, proudly taking up two parking spaces and scaring hybrids from its lane.But then, gas prices soared and the SUV s vital signs plummeted. As much as people love large cars, the costs to keep fuel in the tank proved too much to take. As the New York Times reported, it now costs 100k to own and keep a similarly inefficient full size pickup running for five years. And so people pulled the plug on their trucks and SUVs, taking the beleaguered vehicles off life support and into the museum of dead car fads.U.S. News and World Report has written a thoughtful and compelling obit on the yuppie chariot. Read it and remember the SUV s positive qualities as well as its faults. It s what it would have wanted.

In the life of a fan, there are few symbols as powerful as the autograph. On Monday, the New York Times considered the type of person driven to track baseball players through hotel lobbies and charity events just for the hasty scrawl of a name. Increasingly confined by athletes memorabilia deals, this subculture of Sharpies has been forced far from the stadium parking lot. The Dallas Morning News, meanwhile, took a more analytical look this week at the signature itself. Asking what s in an autograph, the Texas newspaper examined writing samples from John McCain, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton. We ll leave it you to discover which current or former White House contender emerged as a pit bull, which one is a perfectionist, and which one writes in a fluid, graceful way. Athletes and politicians, however, are not the most sought out groups for signatures on the Web. That honor falls to actors and musicians, respectively. And with it comes a word of warning for comedy fans: Stay away from Will Ferrell. The Blades of Glory star may be a really funny guy, but, according to Autograph magazine, he doesn t find it amusing to be asked for his John Hancock. His red carpet crankiness pushed him to the top of the magazine s list of 2007 s worst celebrity signers and to our run down of top celebrity autograph searches this week… Will Ferrell Autograph Paul McCartney Autograph Van Halen Autograph Nick Jonas Autograph Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson Autograph Miley Cyrus Autograph Lee Van Cleef Autograph Alexander Hamilton Autograph Michael Jordan Autograph Horacio Pina Autograph Dermot Mulroney Autograph David Archuleta Autograph Dr. Martin Luther King Autograph Todd Mueller Autographs Bobby Jenks Autograph Gail Harris Autograph Hillary Clinton Autograph Jerry Garcia Autograph Peter Dinklage Autograph Jesse Owens Autograph

It s been a marathon. No, scratch that. It s been an ultra marathon, this race for the Democratic nomination. So it s no wonder that when Barack Obama finally claimed the right to represent his party, he couldn t help but cut loose and celebrate with his wife, Michelle.But instead of the expected hug and kiss on the cheek, the couple shared the fist bump heard round the world. The exuberant gesture sparked big interest in the Buzz. Searches on obama fist bump soared across the country as major news outlets replayed and analyzed the moment. Several articles, including this one from the New York Daily News, explained that many folks found the bump a charming reminder that, as Senator Obama puts it, despite all the hoopla and stress, he and his wife still do silly things. Of course, no one would dare presume that a simple fist bump will elevate Senator Obama to the White House. But an article from New York Magazine speculates that the knocking of knuckles may go a long way toward proving that the aspiring commander in chief is actually kind of hip. When was the last time you could say that about a presidential candidate and keep a straight face?

Let the talking heads and bloggerati theorize about who John McCain and Barack Obama will choose as running mates, Mental Floss has taken another route. Rather than try to predict the future, the online mag has looked back at the 10 most memorable vice presidential picks from U.S. history in this popular Buzz article.Browse through and meet such illustrious American politicians as Richard M. Johnson, who dressed like a farmhand and cursed like a sailor ; Andrew Johnson, who took his 1865 vice presidential oath drunk as a skunk and belligerent as hell ; and Aaron Burr, who dispatched Alexander Hamilton with a bullet to the brain. It s enough to make you think we re downright civilized today.

Okay, so, like, in a fight, who would win: a panda or a commando trained hair stylist? The Buzz Multiplex turns into the Octagon this weekend, with a cuddly ailuropoda melanoleuca on one side, and Adam Sandler on the other. Meanwhile, as the blockbusters battle for box office dominance, a Mongol warrior quietly rises among the limited releases.1. Kung Fu Panda PG . Better than Shrek ? That s the murmuring from critics, who sound almost surprised about how much they like the latest from Dreamworks. Searchers, though, have been spoiling for a good panda fight since October of 2007. Both males and females are interested and its no wonder the family movie of the week stars Jack Black, as well as Dustin Hoffman, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu and Angelina Jolie. Among the cooing reviews, Time critic Richard Corliss traces the movies critters and insider references to their Hong Kong 70s film inspirations a few of which starred Jackie Chan, the voice of Monkey. The film s fidelity to martial arts may explain the surge in kung fu searches. 2. You Don t Mess with the Zohan PG 13 . Adam Sandler trims down and buffs up as a Mossad Israeli soldier who resurfaces in his dream gig as a New York hairstylist. The comedy has become a Rohrshach humor test: Rolling Stones pines for a Groucho Marxist satirical twist and the New York Times raves about it being the finest post Zionist action hairdressing sex comedy. With a cast that includes John Turturro, Mariah Carey and, well, Rob Schneider, Zohan lands among the top 7,500 searches thanks to males 65 . One man probably not in the pro Zohan group: Mel Gibson. Fox News reports that Sandler is doling comic payback to Mr. Gibson for his drunken outburst two years back. Hair stylists never forget.3. Mongol R, limited release . Not since John Wayne… well, let s forget about that biopic. The life of Genghis Khan gets another big screen retelling, this time from a Russian director. NYT calls this first in a trilogy a big, ponderous epic but in a good way. Searches have risen 93 , but overall interest is mild.

Hillary Clinton is bowing out of the presidential race. John McCain and Barack Obama are pondering vice presidential running mates. But it s a magazine article about Bill Clinton that has Buzz in a tizzy. The July issue of Vanity Fair features a profile of the ex president by journalist Todd Purdum. Titled Bubba Trouble: The Comeback Id, the report delves into Bill Clinton s social life, explores his post presidential rat pack, and traffics in the Hollywood dinner party gossip that the one time commander in chief has been spending a little quality time with actress Gina Gershon. That was all the motivation searchers needed. Queries on gina gershon have soared 1,231 so far this week, and look to keep climbing. Lookups for bill clinton affair, bill clinton vanity fair, and bill clinton gina gershon have surged. Even actress Jennifer Tilly, who once shared a steamy cinematic moment with Gershon, has charted an astonishing rise; queries for jennifer tilly gina gershon rose 7,188 yesterday. In Buzz, articles on the brouhaha are soaking up votes, as well. This page from Mahalo has already collected more than 80 thumbs up from readers and voters. Bill Clinton has lashed out at the profile, accusing it of lies and worse. Gina Gershon has also let her feelings be known. On Wednesday, lawyers for the actress demanded a retraction and public apology from Vanity Fair. Whether it comes or not, the ex president, the movie star, and the monthly mag have proved a formidable, buzz inducing trio.

Every writer wants to be in The New Yorker. Now, Patrick House reveals how you can do it. Granted, House s recipe for success applies solely to the magazine s Cartoon Caption Contest, but who s picky?Writing for Slate magazine, the one time challenge champ offers such guidelines as aim for the mild chuckle, keep it lower case, and know your audience in this case, the cartoon editor s assistant . Follow these prescripts for winning, and triumph and a New Yorker byline just may be yours.

It looks like a bowling ball. It weighs about as much as a six month old child. And it tastes delectable. But it will cost you.A black 17 pound watermelon sold today in Japan for 6,100. Though the Densuke fruit is prized for its taste, this price tag shattered all records. It could go down as the most expensive watermelon in the world. Snack on that in your backyard tonight. Already, Salon, Huffington Post, the Wall Street Journal, and NPR have picked up their forks and dug into the fruity buzz. In Search, demand for densuke watermelon and black watermelon is spiking. But is the posh plant the most costly melon ever? Not by a long shot. Last month, a pair of cantaloupes went for 23,500. How delicious.

A presidential candidate bowed out of the race, while two NBA titans began their quest for a championship. A rock legend passed away, while the paparazzi waited on Brangelina s twins to be born. Take a look back at a week of beginnings and endings in the Buzz. Hillary Throws in the TowelAfter months of campaigning, Senator Clinton is bowing out of the presidential race. Some are already speculating as to her next move, while others are busy with the inevitable Monday morning quarterbacking. And of course, those aren t the only questions. Will Barack Obama choose her as his VP? If chosen, would Hillary accept? Too soon to tell, but there s already plenty of online analysis.NBA: Back in the SpotlightA dirty ref and low rated games were adding up to P.R. headache for pro hoops. But those dark clouds may be lifting. The Lakers and the Celtics face off in the NBA finals for the 11th time and the buzz is simply slamming. Lookups on both squads soared and articles from SI.com, the Bleacher Report, and the Hollywood Reporter hey, it s L.A. buzzed like angry bees.Bo Diddley Passes AwayRock and roll pioneer Bo Diddley passed away at the age of 79. The beloved entertainer leaves behind an impressive body of work and many mourning fans who searched on his biography, songs, photos, and clips. Interestingly, we also spied a load of lookups for his iconic Nike commercial with Bo Jackson. Brangelina Baby Watch: Day 5,423It s not enough to know that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are having twins. People, it seems, must know the exact moment that mommy goes into labor. Perhaps that explains why a news outlet jumped the gun this week. Entertainment Tonight reported that the kids were born when in fact they were still chillin in the womb. Patience, people they ll get here when they get here.

A Bond reborn, a White House expos , and rhymes about eating bugs. The next best thing to reading good books is recommending them. Outlets like NPR have posted their summer literary shopping lists, and USA Today provides a helpful guide, noting new titles release dates. While the Washington Post released its mix of critical and readers favorites after Memorial Day, Salon drags out the pleasure with a weekly dip into the juiciest summer passages. Most recently literary responses to Sex and the City. Political tell alls are hot again, as publishers who rejected former White House press secretary Scott McClellan s sold out memoir now see. Other revelatory reading includes a former high level commander who gives the military lowdown in Iraq. Meanwhile, the San Francisco Chronicle aims for closure with the Good Riddance Lit round up devoted to the lame duck president, including the night time reader Goodnight Bush. In the fiction category, many critics agree on a fictional imagining of Nikolas Tesla in The Invention of Everything Else, and Samantha Hunt among others authors , reads a snippet from her work in NPR s fiction addict round up. Sports lovers can get a wincing look into how female physiology may explain higher rates of injuries in Warrior Girls. The New York Times compiles a wistful reading list that brings back the heyday of America s vehicular culture. Reviews have been mixed for Sebastian Faulk s Devil May Care redux of spy James Bond, but read an excerpt and judge for yourself. Not enough hours to stay lit? Die hard readers can sneak in a few pages right under the boss nose with a program that disguises the classics as Powerpoint presentations. The drama need never end. As for what readers have been seeking out in new titles, below are the top book searches from the past 30 days. James Patterson Book Sail, June 9 release date Scott McClellan Book What Happened, May 28 Barbara Walters Book Audition: A Memoir, May 6 Meg Wolitzer Book 2008 The Ten Year Nap, March 27 Hello Cupcake Book April 24 Millionaire by 30 Book April 30 Quantum Wellness Book May 20 Terrance Dean Book Hiding in Hip Hop, May 13 The Grandmother Book March 1 Randy Pausch Last Lecture Book The Last Lecture, April 8